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Dear aluminum foil box:

You think you're so tough with that serrated edge, don't you? You may have won this battle, but the war is far from over. Once my finger heals, I'm coming for you. You can take my blood, but you'll never take my freedom!

- Roxy


( 24 comments — Add a comment )
Mar. 27th, 2010 01:27 pm (UTC)
Preexisting Condition
Your insurance company regrets to inform you that your policy has been rescinded for a demonstrated propensity to inflict self injury.

Mine just charged me for a second co-pay because I had a second test during the same specialist visit.

Forget the foil box. The insurance companies are the real threat to our continued well being.
They only get away with it because retribution is so expensive.
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:52 am (UTC)
Re: Preexisting Condition
Why have one test when you can have two for twice the price? :P

Forget the torches and pitchforks. We should take the insurance companies by force, armed with the lethal cutters from aluminum foil boxes!
Apr. 2nd, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC)
Re: Preexisting Condition
Hmm. Box cutters. Too close to the client for comfort.
Mar. 27th, 2010 03:12 pm (UTC)
Its the metal.
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:50 am (UTC)
I should've known Skynet was behind this.
Mar. 27th, 2010 07:04 pm (UTC)

Someone should really develop a better design D:
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:49 am (UTC)
Seriously. Why has no one built a better aluminum foil cutter yet? It's so primitive.
Mar. 27th, 2010 08:06 pm (UTC)
*hands over a band-aid* Y'know, if you could cook a vegetable once in a while, they don't have foil edges. Having said that, some of them do require peeling so... *winces* ;-P
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
What are these things you call "vegetables"?

Actually, I was covering an extra can of catfood that I absent-mindedly opened.
Apr. 3rd, 2010 01:31 pm (UTC)

Five a day dude, five a day. And spuds don't count. So, fries and Quavers are out ;-P
Mar. 28th, 2010 12:45 am (UTC)
I am reminded heavily of the Christmas I had to be driven to Urgent Care for stitches over the joint of one finger due to the jagged edge of a cranberry sauce can. We'll fight the Metal together. *fist bump*
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
Die metal, die!
Mar. 28th, 2010 03:13 am (UTC)
The conspiracy doesn't stop at foil, it's also in cahoots with paper!

Think about it, paper lays there all innocent looking, pretending to impart knowledge or entertainment, then wham! Paper-cut!
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:54 am (UTC)
Yes, paper! it is clearly another evil invention. And it just so happens that I have papercuts right now. Many of them! Nevermind how it happened.
Mar. 28th, 2010 07:14 pm (UTC)

Get'em Roxy!!!
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:54 am (UTC)
The metal can't keep me down!
Mar. 30th, 2010 01:29 am (UTC)
Such a stupid design. Why can't they make it is such a way that it can be torn easily, like paper towels?
Mar. 31st, 2010 01:31 am (UTC)
'Cause the amount that you need varies depending on the size of the thing you want to cover, and aluminum is more expensive than paper so people don't like to waste it?
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:44 am (UTC)
Food places have those boxes of pre-cut foil sheets, but that just doesn't work in the home environment where size needs are variable. There's got to be a better way to design the cutter, though. Why has no one done it? It's vicious, I tell ya. Vicious!
Mar. 31st, 2010 03:34 pm (UTC)
Precut plastic wrappings...
Don't know of a pre-cut aluminum foil format, but for those who need protection from sharp objects, there are Zip-Loc(TM) bags... pick your preferred size.

I'm backing Narration on this one: I always feel the need to tear paper towels into smaller pieces. The paper towel (and food) manufacturers sell us more product than we need, simply by making large sheets (servings).
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:41 am (UTC)
Re: Precut plastic wrappings...
Meanwhile, I hate those paper towels that have half-size perfs. I always want a full size paper towel.

A Ziploc baggie wouldn't have worked in this situation. I adbsent-mindedly opened a second can of catfood and only had one lid for the leftovers. So I put foil on the other one. Sometimes you need to use the deadly foil!
Mar. 31st, 2010 01:29 am (UTC)
Oh, no! It's tasted human blood!
Apr. 2nd, 2010 06:56 am (UTC)
I woke up this morning with an aluminum foil box staring at me. it looked hungry.
Apr. 2nd, 2010 03:39 pm (UTC)
Then we have no choice: it must be put down before it kills again. Load the Glock with Glasser Safety Slugs and take it out behind the woodshed like Old Yeller before it's too late.
( 24 comments — Add a comment )


roxy burglar
Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

Is self-indulgent. Over thinks everything. Tweets too much. Looks really good in these jeans. Wants to eat butterscotch. Makes herself laugh. Obsesses about aging. Does some crunches. Lives with two ghosts. Procrastinates daily. Measures once, cuts twice. Hates Foo Fighters. Drinks lots of coffee (keep it coming). Puts spiders outside. Brings balance to the force. Draws a perfect curve. Enjoys dark chocolate. Bangs on the drums. Always gets in the slow line. Orders from a menu. Hopes to be reincarnated. Speaks fluent Sarah Connor. Cooks tasty crack theory. Loves a good storm. Dances like a dork. Picks some locks. Tips well. Refuses to share the popcorn. Dreams about the future. Ignores the clock. Sings off key. Has a superpower. Shoots the paper bad guys. Needs some eyeliner. Goes to bed at dawn. Can't resist good smut. Quotes movie lines. Eats whipped yogurt. Lets the story tell itself. Maintains a rich fantasy life. Knows all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe.

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