I love my house. It's about 80 years old, so despite it's quirks and creaks and extreme lack of closet space, it's got a lot of character. But one thing I've never liked are the doors. Their brass locks and chunky glass knobs are appealing enough, but the doors themselves are stained very dark. And you know those quirks I mentioned? One of them is that the bathroom door won't stay open. It prefers to be about 2/3 closed. We've fiddled with it—made adjustments. Nothing seems to work. The house is crooked and I guess crookedness sometimes wins out.
Anyway, the man's asleep, it's mostly dark in the house and I had to pee. You know where this is going, right?