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Upon visiting a clock shop yesterday, I found myself inexplicably drawn to a grandfather clock. I don't even like grandfather clocks, but something about this one speaks to me. And I'm pretty sure it's saying "you need me in that corner in your dining room — the corner where those ugly shelves are that you want to get rid of." Yeah, that's what it's saying all right. Now I just have to figure out how to justify spending a big wad of cash on something I absolutely don't need.


( 7 comments — Add a comment )
Oct. 13th, 2008 05:27 am (UTC)
make sure it has an awesome chime. the point is the sound :)
Oct. 13th, 2008 04:17 pm (UTC)
Yeah it has a real purty chime.
Oct. 13th, 2008 02:04 pm (UTC)
It needs to be wider. So it can mask the door to your secret underground lair. From there, with the help of supercomputers and an army of robotic monkey soldiers, you can take over the world without interruption because no one will ever be able to find the hidden doorway.

Oh, wait, that's what's behind MY grandfather clock.

Yeah, that one looks nice.
Oct. 13th, 2008 04:20 pm (UTC)
Now I want a secret underground lair too! This is going to be more expensive than I thought.
Oct. 13th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
What you need to do is 'subtly' drop hints to the husband to see if he understands the need to assist you with getting your own underground lair.

'Gee, honey, wouldn't it be nice if we ruled the world?'

'No, there's not an army of trained robot monkeys in the attic. You just can't go up there right now. If there was more storage, say, underground, you could.'

'I don't know how those underground fortress schematics keep replacing the sports section in the newspaper.'

'I thought the perfect gift for our anniversary would be a backhoe. Didn't you always mention wanting one?'

'The kid tied up in the closet is not the president's daughter. I know they look alike... oh, and if the secret service calls the drop off is 'the old bridge, three pm, and yes they must be unmarked, small denominational bills.' If I had a better place to put her, I wouldn't have had to move your golf clubs.'

'It's to accessorize properly with the grandfather clock we got.'

'We can get a fireman's pole so you can slide down into it.'

And finally...

'Well, when they make a movie about all this, I bet they can get Robert Wagner to play your part.'
Oct. 13th, 2008 04:49 pm (UTC)
'Gee, honey, wouldn't it be nice if we ruled the world?'

That just might work. If not, I'm sure the fireman's pole would do it.
Oct. 13th, 2008 04:54 pm (UTC)
Exactly my reasoning!

If you're going to take over the world, why not have some fun while doing it?
( 7 comments — Add a comment )


roxy burglar
Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

Is self-indulgent. Over thinks everything. Tweets too much. Looks really good in these jeans. Wants to eat butterscotch. Makes herself laugh. Obsesses about aging. Does some crunches. Lives with two ghosts. Procrastinates daily. Measures once, cuts twice. Hates Foo Fighters. Drinks lots of coffee (keep it coming). Puts spiders outside. Brings balance to the force. Draws a perfect curve. Enjoys dark chocolate. Bangs on the drums. Always gets in the slow line. Orders from a menu. Hopes to be reincarnated. Speaks fluent Sarah Connor. Cooks tasty crack theory. Loves a good storm. Dances like a dork. Picks some locks. Tips well. Refuses to share the popcorn. Dreams about the future. Ignores the clock. Sings off key. Has a superpower. Shoots the paper bad guys. Needs some eyeliner. Goes to bed at dawn. Can't resist good smut. Quotes movie lines. Eats whipped yogurt. Lets the story tell itself. Maintains a rich fantasy life. Knows all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe.

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