Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Post | Next Post

Rogue spiders

Spiders live in my house. I'm fine with it. As long as they stay small and they stay out of the way — stick to corners that I don't visit or live down in the basement with the centipedes — we're cool. But they are not under any circumstances allowed to get on me or even come close enough that I feel my personal space has been threatened (this would include dangling from the ceiling in front of my face like one did today). When a rogue spider violates this unwritten code of conduct, I am forced to wield some authority. They don't get a plea. There's no trial. I am the judge and jury. Spiders are always guilty and I always hand down the same sentence: EXILE. They are relocated in my prisoner spider transport (paper cup covered with a piece of junkmail) to the great outdoors. It's a tougher life out there, but that's what happens when you don't follow the house rules.

If you're wondering about the centipedes, well let's just say they get to do what they want. They are too scary and too fast for capture. Don't tell them I said that though.


( 7 comments — Add a comment )
Jul. 7th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Ach, spiders! One totally pulled that dangling shit once. And another sat there and watched me in the shower. I try to exile them when I can instead of squishing them, but sometimes there's no other way. Crazy arachnid motherfuckers.
Jul. 7th, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
Eeeeeek! Shower spiders. I've had that happen. *spine chill*
Jul. 7th, 2008 06:16 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 7th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
Rogue spiders on the lam is never a good thing. I hate when I lose track of them!!!!!
Jul. 8th, 2008 06:31 am (UTC)
I have a zero tolerence policy for arthropods of all sorts in my apartment. I hate the things. Anything with more than four legs comes in here, it gets squished in a tissue and its remains flushed.
Jul. 8th, 2008 08:25 am (UTC)
Rats are okay then? :P

So you are not just judge and jury, you are judge, jury and executioner! I actually feel bad if I squish a bug or a spider. It's rare that I do it. Although I have killed thousands of bird mites in one evening because they infested our bedroom. That was a horrible experience but it led to us installing new windows in the house so that was good at least (they'd gotten in through the an old rickety window).

Jul. 8th, 2008 09:38 am (UTC)
Rats are okay then? :P
No, but it's sort of a non-issue: I can't remember the last time I saw a rat outside of a cage, and I've never had one in my apartment.

So you are not just judge and jury, you are judge, jury and executioner! I actually feel bad if I squish a bug or a spider.
Like I said, I hate bugs on a very visceral level. I look away from movies with giant bugs in them. I'll catch and release from time to time (ladybugs, for instance), but my first instinct is to kill. That way recidivism is zero.

Spiders are pretty easy. Not very fast. Flies are hard to kill, tho. Very good at dodging, and hard to spot again once you lose track of them. Especially the little ones, which never seem to show up in groups of less than a dozen. I've been known to hunt a stubborn fly for a long time with shoe, snapping dish towel or bare hands before I finally get it.
( 7 comments — Add a comment )


roxy burglar
Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

Is self-indulgent. Over thinks everything. Tweets too much. Looks really good in these jeans. Wants to eat butterscotch. Makes herself laugh. Obsesses about aging. Does some crunches. Lives with two ghosts. Procrastinates daily. Measures once, cuts twice. Hates Foo Fighters. Drinks lots of coffee (keep it coming). Puts spiders outside. Brings balance to the force. Draws a perfect curve. Enjoys dark chocolate. Bangs on the drums. Always gets in the slow line. Orders from a menu. Hopes to be reincarnated. Speaks fluent Sarah Connor. Cooks tasty crack theory. Loves a good storm. Dances like a dork. Picks some locks. Tips well. Refuses to share the popcorn. Dreams about the future. Ignores the clock. Sings off key. Has a superpower. Shoots the paper bad guys. Needs some eyeliner. Goes to bed at dawn. Can't resist good smut. Quotes movie lines. Eats whipped yogurt. Lets the story tell itself. Maintains a rich fantasy life. Knows all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe.

Latest Month

August 2017


Powered by LiveJournal.com