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First [fill in occupation] gay person!

So some basketball player announced to the world that he's gay and it's considered major news? Seriously? That gets reporters typing away? Unless he was known as a total womanizer before, that is not news and I wish we'd stop treating it as such. Our cultural obsession with people's sexual prefixes has gone on far too long.

Gays, you're not helping either. Everyone knows you exist so stop with the "coming out" already! It's just weird. And so 1990s. You remember the '90s — the era of women's music, recycling and celebrating gayness. Well if you didn't come out then, too late. In the 21st century, you're just plain old gay if you're gay. That's how it should be anyway. But it won't be that way until gay people stop turning their sexuality into a thing and everyone else stops acting like it's a thing.

The next time anyone makes a public announcement about whether they prefer penis or vagina, I wish the world would issue a collective yawn and move on to the next trending topic.


roxy burglar
Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

Is self-indulgent. Over thinks everything. Tweets too much. Looks really good in these jeans. Wants to eat butterscotch. Makes herself laugh. Obsesses about aging. Does some crunches. Lives with two ghosts. Procrastinates daily. Measures once, cuts twice. Hates Foo Fighters. Drinks lots of coffee (keep it coming). Puts spiders outside. Brings balance to the force. Draws a perfect curve. Enjoys dark chocolate. Bangs on the drums. Always gets in the slow line. Orders from a menu. Hopes to be reincarnated. Speaks fluent Sarah Connor. Cooks tasty crack theory. Loves a good storm. Dances like a dork. Picks some locks. Tips well. Refuses to share the popcorn. Dreams about the future. Ignores the clock. Sings off key. Has a superpower. Shoots the paper bad guys. Needs some eyeliner. Goes to bed at dawn. Can't resist good smut. Quotes movie lines. Eats whipped yogurt. Lets the story tell itself. Maintains a rich fantasy life. Knows all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe.

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