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I used to think that I had a happy childhood. But this might not be true socially, on further thought and compared to other kids.... I had some insanely happy experiences...receiving toys, birthdays, school/field trips many many things but the problem was I wasn't doing outside activities that helped me, besides cub scouts (which was a bit off the wall crazy and organized by my mom), and band which put me in with some nerds I didn't like. I always felt alone, and cried. I think I see now that my social standing at school, even the time I was really content with, might not have been very high as I thought, or people didn't think of me. I was in basketball, where I had no friends at all, around kids a lot taller and stronger with no respect for me. When I wanted to quit my mom said no. So I was in basketball for years instead of any other activities I could have tried out. My real friend group was actually in soccer.....and I think I ended up not being invited to a lot of shit now that I think about it (this makes a lot of sense now, there were things going on with them I wasn't aware of), and I was an outsider. Why would I have this realization now?? or maybe I knew but didnt care then. They didn't trust me with some stuff they did, probably some illegal stuff, but fun things too. The kids in basketball didn't like me on any level because I wasn't a good player. I didn't score a single point in 3-4 years..Anyways thats kind of fucked up, but I kept going because it was like church and I felt obligated. Fast forward.... I think the only thing I had for external support when I was in a major crisis was band, which I had to quit because I was held back a year. The kids ended up not even being my age, and the program was different, so I was deficient in reading notes (I still am). God I feel like crying....
I can kind of see where it all went wrong. I just didn't have any external social support. Thats all I needed. I don't know what is wrong with my parents. Its like they didn't care about my well being. I have no indication even today sometimes.
I know its not my fault. I used to cry a lot. My parents saw it. They didn't care to help?? y'know maybe put me in place where I am not failing over and over......
I think I still have some kind of self esteem thing that escalated into many other problems for me....I don't know.
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feeling better. I need to sleep now. I hope I dont have scary dreams.
I've been in a steam-punky, pulpy mood lately and SANCTUARY just stokes that perfectly.
Gateworld posters OTOH... unfortunate.
Tch.
Boss: I forgot to say thanks for doing a good job during our 1:1.
Boss: Thanks.
Me: You're welcome? I don't know what I did.
Boss: You are very intelligent, capable, and dependable. I am reminded of it at least daily. I thought I should say thanks for that.
Boss: If you want me to send this in an e-mail so you can archive it. I will.
Me: Oh! Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Me: Oh, please do. I will pull it out and hug it.
Boss: LOL. I assume you heard that.
(She actually thought I was being sarcastic until I told her before I left that I really would like an e-mail. This is what she sent:
Thank you for being so intelligent, capable, and reliable.*The smiley faces are because we were joking about emoticons afterward.)
*Replicated statement from an IM earlier today. I think I lost some of the details, but the intended message remains.
Now don’t get all arrogant and full of yourself.
Smiley face, ☺, :-}
I keep waiting for someone to figure out I spend half my time messing around online and I am secretly a fuck-up, but I appear to be really bad at being a fuck-up. I must be some kind of fuck-down.
- Mood:
pleased - Music:Filter - I'm Not the Only One
Created at D*C 2007, we were inspired by the art show and the cosplay elements of the convention to put together a site featuring all the great cosplayers and to produce a yearly calendar featuring themed artwork from the various fantasy and sci-fi genres represented at the many con's throughout the USA.
To bring the creativity and Inspirational fashion and design of the sci fi, fantasy, gothic, steampunk, horror, and alternative cultures and genres to the eyes of the often over critical mainstream.
WHERE
check us out at...
www.girlsofthecon.com
we are looking for models for our 2011 calender if interested go to www.girlsofthecon.com
- Mood:
bouncy
I ask only because I don't wanna suffer from cranial overload like I did the first time I went to D*C back in '08. I would like to have some kind of guide so that when I go next year, it'll make forming a plan a little bit easier, and I won't get so overwhelmed when I go again in 2010.
Thanks in advance.
I really love this documentary, Dangerous Knowlege:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?d
Egg Foo Youuung. Forever Young.
I did have chinese food. MMM it was good.
- 16:17 Vote for SCC: Best Show Axed Before Its TIme of 2009. bit.ly/3QWziN #savesarah #
To avoid spamming the list with multiple posts, anyone interested can hit: cj2017.livejournal.com/tag/fic which has all my fics on one handy page.
They do kinda run in a sequence so start at the bottom (Under The Influence) and work your way up!
Autumn is upon us, and amidst the changing colors of the leaves, the dropping temperatures, the shortened days and the holiday-themed advertisements it also brings with it another change: the start of a new season of television entertainment.
The mainstream offerings have all been undoubtedly reviewed and analyzed quite thoroughly by plenty of people across the internet, so I won’t bother retreading that ground. Anyway, the truth of the matter is that I don’t catch much TV these days. With the hours I keep, I pretty much have to watch anything I wish to see online, so I tend to stick to what I’m already familiar with.
While a nighttime work schedule and an increasing sense of disinterest towards the current trends in the output of most of the networks has kept me from seeing much of what’s on the air here in North America, thanks to the power of the internet I have had the opportunity to examine some of the new series that are airing elsewhere in the world. Specifically, in a certain country that has produced several of my favorite television series over the years, not to mention quite a few other highly original, highly intelligent or highly entertaining ones (and, in all fairness, plenty of mediocre or absolutely terrible ones… and it’s usually the lousy ones that are best known).
You can probably guess which one I mean.
Welcome to TheNarrator’s review of the Fall ’09 season of Japanese animation.
So, how are the anime offerings for this season overall? Honestly?
Disappointing.
I know I shouldn’t go into an anime expecting it to be the next Noir or Cowboy Bebop just like I shouldn’t expect a live-action series to be the next Farscape or Sarah Connor Chronicles, but that didn’t stop me from hoping that there would be something truly impressive in this batch of shows. Instead, they’re mostly mediocre and clichéd. Most of the truly excretable ones I was able to avoid entirely by making use of other people’s reviews of them, but a few still slipped through. And there were some that might have some potential but are flawed in the execution. Those could perhaps be called "okay": not painful to watch, but I could easily name better series that one could watch instead, so the only reason to watch these would be if you’ve already seen all those better shows and now you’re bored (like me). One show could be good or suck, it's too early to tell. There’s really only one show here that I can definitely call "good" and sadly, it’s not action or scifi or fantasy or anything cool like that… it’s a friggin’ romantic comedy. When the best thing airing is a romantic comedy, you know it's a weak season.
Of course, you often can’t truly tell a series’ worth from its first episode or even first several, so it’s entirely possible that a series that I’ve dismissed will wind up revealing hidden depths at some point further down the line. But these are the judgments I’ve made based on how things stand at the moment.
I also tried to include plenty of snark where snark was due, so hopefully these reviews will be entertaining even if the shows aren't.
( Tegami Bachi - going postal, post-apocalypse )
( Sasameki Koto - a same-sex romantic comedy )
For some ungodly reason, in addition to owning Gummi Bears on DVD, Gabby owns The Worst Witch, a terrible made-for-TV movie adaptation of a book about a Hogwarts-esque witches' school. It looks like it was filmed in my backyard. The titular worst witch is played by Fairuza Balk, and the head witch is played by Diana Rigg. Yes, that Diana Rigg. I don't know how this movie exists. It was 1986. In any case, here comes Tim Curry as the Grand Wizard to star in the most awesomely bad Halloween music video ever.
The video does not include his subsequent departure because he has another...gig.
In exchange, I introduced them to "That'll give you bees."
- Mood:
flirty - Music:The Smashing Pumpkins - Doomsday Clock
- Location:United States, Arizona, Scottsdale
- Mood:
thirsty - Music:Sankt Otten - Hoehenrausch | Powered by Last.fm
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