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What NOT to do when writing fiction

Don't pause to listen to a recording of your own voice.
You know that weird thing where your voice sounds completely different to you recorded than it does through your own ears, even though everyone tells you, "yeah that's what you sound like" (and you wonder how they can stand to be around you when you talk)? Well I just got a digital copy of a video from a 1999 New Year's Eve party, so of course, I watched it. It's about 12 minutes long and I think I'm talking either to the camera or in the background for a good 10 minutes of it. And now I can't get my own voice out of my head. When I tried to start writing again, I couldn't hear character voices anymore, I heard my recorded voice from 1999. It's very annoying having characters sound like recorded me. That simply doesn't work. On the upside, my hair looked really good.



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roxy burglar
roxybisquaint
Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

Is self-indulgent. Over thinks everything. Tweets too much. Looks really good in these jeans. Wants to eat butterscotch. Makes herself laugh. Obsesses about aging. Does some crunches. Lives with two ghosts. Procrastinates daily. Measures once, cuts twice. Hates Foo Fighters. Drinks lots of coffee (keep it coming). Puts spiders outside. Brings balance to the force. Draws a perfect curve. Enjoys dark chocolate. Bangs on the drums. Always gets in the slow line. Orders from a menu. Hopes to be reincarnated. Speaks fluent Sarah Connor. Cooks tasty crack theory. Loves a good storm. Dances like a dork. Picks some locks. Tips well. Refuses to share the popcorn. Dreams about the future. Ignores the clock. Sings off key. Has a superpower. Shoots the paper bad guys. Needs some eyeliner. Goes to bed at dawn. Can't resist good smut. Quotes movie lines. Eats whipped yogurt. Lets the story tell itself. Maintains a rich fantasy life. Knows all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe.

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