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Agreement Reached in House Cleaning Strike

After lengthy negotiations with my home, that at times bordered on hostile, the house cleaning strike has officially come to an end. No longer am I staring at rugs that need vacuuming, dusty tables, paper that needs recycling or belongings that need putting away. It's done. We're clean in here.

I wish I could say I won this battle, but the CHFPC (Coalition of House, Furnishings, Possessions and a Cat) had the upper hand from the start. It knew I couldn't hold out forever. And so my demands, for the house to produce less "old house dust", the rugs to tuft-up less wool, the cat to stop shedding and leaving paw prints on the bathroom sink, incoming mail to sort itself, boxes to break down and recycle on their own, and belongings to put themselves away, were not met. Not a single one. In fact, the CHFPC issued the following statement:

Screw you!

So there you have it.



Comments

( 16 comments — Add a comment )
the_narration
Aug. 22nd, 2008 06:22 pm (UTC)
Damned homes. Why can't they keep themselves clean so we don't have to?
roxybisquaint
Aug. 22nd, 2008 07:54 pm (UTC)
Seriously. I think they demand way too much of us.
the_narration
Aug. 22nd, 2008 08:40 pm (UTC)
Seriously. It's 2008! Where are the self-cleaning homes and robot maids we were promised?
roxybisquaint
Aug. 22nd, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
Yeah I thought for sure we'd be living more like the Jetsons by now.
cisaac
Aug. 22nd, 2008 06:52 pm (UTC)
I'd recommend you get a Screen Actor's Guild negotiator to help you, but then you'd only end up with more work, less pay, and having to associate with out of work actors from the 70s who have nothing better to do than run a union.
roxybisquaint
Aug. 22nd, 2008 07:58 pm (UTC)
I did actually, but they were no match for the powerful CHFPC. The SAG negotiator did offer me Gary Coleman, though. He showed up at my door with a mop, but as soon as I tried to put him to work, he said "whachoo talkin bout?" and then he punched someone.
cisaac
Aug. 22nd, 2008 08:05 pm (UTC)
At least he was only a little annoying.

*rimshot*
roxybisquaint
Aug. 22nd, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
*groan*
cisaac
Aug. 22nd, 2008 08:45 pm (UTC)
Groan?

Zombies?

Sorry, I seem to go back to that topic a lot.
roxybisquaint
Aug. 22nd, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
I'm going to be on the lookout for some kind of cool unique zombie something or other at Dragon*Con for you. And if I find anything worthy, I'm going to have it delivered to you by mailman that I will bribe to wear evil clown make-up. :D

And I still need to make a zombie icon. I've been slacking in icon making lately.
cisaac
Aug. 22nd, 2008 09:01 pm (UTC)
Awwww. That's cool of you.

I'm just a sucker for those lugs. They're really nice if you get to know them.

And zombie icons are fun.

Zombies; you're what's for dinner.
metroid13
Aug. 22nd, 2008 11:09 pm (UTC)
I'm a socialist, so I am pleased the local union beat out the oppressive capitalist boss, despite said union being composed of inanimate objects and a furry animal. It is still a victory for the worker!
roxybisquaint
Aug. 22nd, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
A socialist and you're siding with the evil and powerful CHFPC?! You should be on my side dude - power to the workers!
metroid13
Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:11 am (UTC)
With you? Were you not neglecting to provide the house the good and proper benefit of cleanliness? It is not they who are evil, foul temptress, it is YOU.
roxybisquaint
Aug. 23rd, 2008 12:23 am (UTC)
I... I guess so. *hides head in shame*

PS - four legs good, two legs better!

hehehehehehe
metroid13
Aug. 23rd, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
Any book where there are communists who are literally pigs is a great book indeed.
( 16 comments — Add a comment )

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roxy burglar
roxybisquaint
Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

Is self-indulgent. Over thinks everything. Tweets too much. Looks really good in these jeans. Wants to eat butterscotch. Makes herself laugh. Obsesses about aging. Does some crunches. Lives with two ghosts. Procrastinates daily. Measures once, cuts twice. Hates Foo Fighters. Drinks lots of coffee (keep it coming). Puts spiders outside. Brings balance to the force. Draws a perfect curve. Enjoys dark chocolate. Bangs on the drums. Always gets in the slow line. Orders from a menu. Hopes to be reincarnated. Speaks fluent Sarah Connor. Cooks tasty crack theory. Loves a good storm. Dances like a dork. Picks some locks. Tips well. Refuses to share the popcorn. Dreams about the future. Ignores the clock. Sings off key. Has a superpower. Shoots the paper bad guys. Needs some eyeliner. Goes to bed at dawn. Can't resist good smut. Quotes movie lines. Eats whipped yogurt. Lets the story tell itself. Maintains a rich fantasy life. Knows all the mysteries of the gods and of the universe.

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