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Rogue spiders

Spiders live in my house. I'm fine with it. As long as they stay small and they stay out of the way — stick to corners that I don't visit or live down in the basement with the centipedes — we're cool. But they are not under any circumstances allowed to get on me or even come close enough that I feel my personal space has been threatened (this would include dangling from the ceiling in front of my face like one did today). When a rogue spider violates this unwritten code of conduct, I am forced to wield some authority. They don't get a plea. There's no trial. I am the judge and jury. Spiders are always guilty and I always hand down the same sentence: EXILE. They are relocated in my prisoner spider transport (paper cup covered with a piece of junkmail) to the great outdoors. It's a tougher life out there, but that's what happens when you don't follow the house rules.

If you're wondering about the centipedes, well let's just say they get to do what they want. They are too scary and too fast for capture. Don't tell them I said that though.



Comments

( 8 comments — Add a comment )
spectralbovine
Jul. 7th, 2008 05:17 pm (UTC)
Ach, spiders! One totally pulled that dangling shit once. And another sat there and watched me in the shower. I try to exile them when I can instead of squishing them, but sometimes there's no other way. Crazy arachnid motherfuckers.
roxybisquaint
Jul. 7th, 2008 06:06 pm (UTC)
Eeeeeek! Shower spiders. I've had that happen. *spine chill*
spectralbovine
Jul. 7th, 2008 06:16 pm (UTC)
It's like, I AM UNPROTECTED YOU COULD BITE ME AAAAAANYWHERE.
(Deleted comment)
roxybisquaint
Jul. 7th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
Rogue spiders on the lam is never a good thing. I hate when I lose track of them!!!!!
the_narration
Jul. 8th, 2008 06:31 am (UTC)
I have a zero tolerence policy for arthropods of all sorts in my apartment. I hate the things. Anything with more than four legs comes in here, it gets squished in a tissue and its remains flushed.
roxybisquaint
Jul. 8th, 2008 08:25 am (UTC)
Rats are okay then? :P

So you are not just judge and jury, you are judge, jury and executioner! I actually feel bad if I squish a bug or a spider. It's rare that I do it. Although I have killed thousands of bird mites in one evening because they infested our bedroom. That was a horrible experience but it led to us installing new windows in the house so that was good at least (they'd gotten in through the an old rickety window).


the_narration
Jul. 8th, 2008 09:38 am (UTC)
Rats are okay then? :P
No, but it's sort of a non-issue: I can't remember the last time I saw a rat outside of a cage, and I've never had one in my apartment.

So you are not just judge and jury, you are judge, jury and executioner! I actually feel bad if I squish a bug or a spider.
Like I said, I hate bugs on a very visceral level. I look away from movies with giant bugs in them. I'll catch and release from time to time (ladybugs, for instance), but my first instinct is to kill. That way recidivism is zero.

Spiders are pretty easy. Not very fast. Flies are hard to kill, tho. Very good at dodging, and hard to spot again once you lose track of them. Especially the little ones, which never seem to show up in groups of less than a dozen. I've been known to hunt a stubborn fly for a long time with shoe, snapping dish towel or bare hands before I finally get it.
( 8 comments — Add a comment )

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Roxy Bisquaint

Roxy Bisquaint...

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